i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
