i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
