I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
