So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
