new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
My vagina just recognized that song.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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