i don't plan on having that self control this summer
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Is it because I queefed?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Randomize
