ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
