Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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