Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
