There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
