I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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