i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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