i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Found the puke drawer
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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