just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
