OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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