Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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