I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
