i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
