some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
