My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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