Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i can't believe i had my finger in that
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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