so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
