great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
