don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
