i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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