i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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