doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
