Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
