yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
