google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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