i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
