Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
