so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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