Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
