if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
