How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
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