I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
