normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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