I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
