Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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