i just wanna soil my oats bro
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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