I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
