No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
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