I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Why are your pants in the freezer?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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