before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize