Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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