I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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