i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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