...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
