Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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