She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Randomize
