Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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