Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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