I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
You can't special order awesome
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
