We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
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my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
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Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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