just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
