who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
