Non-Jews are for practice
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
