This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
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