i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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