he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
