and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
